A Challenging Career

I started working when I was 14 years old.  I was a bag girl at Publix (a grocery store) I worked there until I was 18 years old and I worked my way up to the totem pole from bag girl to the cash office. After that I started working at Sams club from 18-22 years old and I started there as a cashier and then I was promoted to supervisor fairly quickly.  No matter what job I had I always wanted to the best, I was always trying to excel and be the greatest I wanted to be on top at my jobs, and with this mind frame I was.  I have never been given an imperfect evaluation in my life and I’m proud of that!

 There’s has been one career path that is very challenging to me though….so challenging that I feel like at times I just don’t know what I’m doing….Do you ever get that feeling? For me the job that I have of being a mom is the most challenging and humbling calling that I have ever done.  There are times I don’t get a perfect evaluation….actually I don’t ever get a perfect evaluation. My job is not based upon performance like most jobs are….being a parent is job that is based on the product…the outcome...the child. I feel like most days I fail….to be perfectly honest with you. Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

As I was thinking about how I am sometimes at a loss at being a parent I thought of God. I thought that the mightiest being. Our creator….is our parent.  He gave each and everyone one of us free will and he watches day to day either to make good use of it, or poor use of it.  He looks down at us from the heavens and I wonder what he thinks with our decisions and choices? I began to ponder this a bit this morning and I thought “the mightiest powerful being is the most humble of all us, and he is our father”.  God is wonderful isn’t he?  He has the ability to take us out of this world at any given moment, but he has spared us our lives with the sacrifice of his one and only son….so that we could give live…by grace only. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”

 I look at myself being a mom and I think day to day how I can give grace to my kids.  I find it to be a challenge because just like the rest of the moms and dads in the world we know what our kids our capable of.  We want them to succeed and be great human beings, not for this world alone, but for the kingdom of God.  The Lord keeps a watchful eye on us just as we do our own kids, but he’s got a bird’s eye view.  Knowing; that he has a birds view and we still mess up every day and every day we are given another chance. John 1:3 “All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.”

The free will that God has given us is to be used ever so wisely.  We can either use it for his glory, or we can use it with selfish gain and gain nothing.  Being a parent; it’s hard to see sometimes when your children use their own free will ineffectively.  However; what I can say is that as a child of God I am grateful for all the lessons that the Lord has taught me while using my free will imperfectly.  I know that it’s my job to instill great values into my children and It’s the most important job I will ever be given.  I am ever so grateful that I don’t get a perfect evaluation on being mom, but what I am grateful for is for the sovereign grace and mercy that the Lord shows me every day while being an imperfect parent. Hebrews 4:10 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need"

Mercy and His Friend Grace

Three years ago my husband and I experienced a bump in the road in our relationship.  These bumps are not uncommon in any marriage; any marriage is susceptible to have hardship.  As I was reflecting on how we got through it the other day it dawned on me.  It was by the Grace of God.  At that present time I was very, very angry….enraged is really the only way to describe it.  I felt so helpless at this point of my life.  I have never traveled down this road before and I honestly had no idea how to fix our marriage.  But after a few weeks of trying to figure out how I would fix our relationship, or how my husband would fix our relationship I realized that I couldn't fix it. He couldn't fix it. Only God could fix it.

A few months went by and we were still struggling to get back on track.  I couldn't understand why this was happening. I didn't understand how our relationship could be in such turmoil…..I felt as though someone had died….that’s how much of a loss there was in our marriage.  I remember we would fight. We would fight like it was a fight to the death….it was really bad….I kept throwing things in my husband face….until one day.  I was reading in the Bible about the grace of God.  This particular day I was contemplating leaving my husband…and I opened my Bible to Titus 2:11 and it reads “ The grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” On this particular day when I was doing the convicting….God convicted me.

I was being taught that on this day when I felt that our relationship didn't deserve “my mercy” or “my grace” I realized that I was undeserving of God’s grace and his mercy….and that’s a scary thought.   James 2:13 says “For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy.” I thought to myself that day long and hard; that I was undeserving…I was undeserving of God’s grace and his mercy.  I am flawed just like everyone else I am no different.  I began to think about that, every single day of my life, I make mistakes and God still shows his mercy and grace to me.  So what did I do? I decided to be obedient to God. I wanted to be more Christ like so I decided that I would be merciful, show grace and compassion to where maybe it wasn't deserved, because I need the grace and mercy of Christ.

Although I made up my mind to be obedient to the Lord, it took time. It wasn't a miraculous overnight change.  I began to fast, and I cried, sometimes a couple times a day.... and I kept myself in prayer and in the word. Yes I was still upset at that time, but because I decided to show grace and mercy like Christ shows to me I became less and less angry and God began to restore our marriage. God honors us when we are obedient to him….being obedient comes with great reward. We are now blessed with a happy and healthy marriage. Both my husband and I changed with the help of the Lord. God used this as a learning tool for us.  To have greater value of our marriage to have a greater value for each other.We are still learning every day.  Just because we went through a hardship doesn't mean that we won’t go through one again. If we happen to reach another stumbling block we will have the proper tools that the Lord gave us three years ago to navigate through it.  Mark 10:9” Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

What I learned is that not one of us is perfect.  We all were created from sin, yet God loves each and every one of us.  What is so amazing about God is that he knows every single facet of our lives, yet he loves us in our entirety.  So today show a little grace and mercy to someone you may think might not deserve it. Obey God and he will bless your life more than you can ever imagine. “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7