May 2013, I went to my primary care doctor for a well check up. I had just given birth 9 months prior to this and I will tell you I was not happy about this visit, but it was necessary. I placed my feet upon the scale (which I never did at home) and the digital numbers went from 150-175-195-200..and stopped at 250 pounds. I cried when I saw that number. I looked at the nurse with tears in my eyes and she said "come with me!". I walked down that long hall to wait in another room to see the doctor. The doctor came in and did the usual small talk with me you know the "hi' "How are you?" and then she looked at my weight and she said to me "Niccole, you have got to lose some weight otherwise you will not be here for very long to see your kids grow up." and at that moment I was scared. I was scared for my life.
I went home that day and I was looking for any quick fix that I could find. Diet pills, drinks, special foods. You name it if it said "quick" I was reading about it. But, as I was looking for a "quick fix" I was thinking about how I really felt. I said to myself "how could I do this to my body?" "How could I be so negligent?" and then it hit me. I really didn't like who I was. I didn't like anything about me for that matter. I was punishing myself for being me. I didn't want to accept who I was. I couldn't' accept who God created me to be. I felt out of my element. I felt out of control of my life. But then it hit me, it wasn't my life, it was the life that I was given, because my life it is not my own, it is the Lords.
Later on that week as I was praying and seeking God for answers I read this scripture that helped me "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" Ephasians 2:10. This verse really gave me the hope that I needed. That very instance I made a choice. I chose to love the person that God has made. I may have veered off his path and went my own way for a while, but the wonderful thing about God is that he is merciful. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy" Matthew 5:7.
The following week I asked God"how I should go about this weight loss journey?" he said to me "with endurance, self- discipline and perseverance" and that was the day that I joined the gym. I walked in that gym and I was lucky that could walk 1/2 mile going at a snails pace but I did it...and those weeks I proved myself wrong everyday of what I was capable of doing. Those weeks to follow my body ached in places I didn't even know could ache! But to my surprise I began to love exercising, this is where I found peace with myself, it helped me feel less stressed too! The months to follow I proceeded to discipline myself in the hardest area and that was my eating. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it" Matthew 12:11.
But, the most amazing thing about God is that he will use something that we think is irrelevant to him to be used for his glory. Because of this weight loss journey I have learned so many things about myself. I learned that God wanted to teach me discipline, not only in losing weight but in all aspects of life. I was really undisciplined in all areas of my life and for this reason I felt that my life was spinning out of control. Most importantly; my spiritual life was out of control. I was very up and down with my prayer life and reading the word. The weight loss taught me the value of having discipline in all areas of my life. Spiritually, physically, emotionally and even in relationships and finances. The key is to trust God! with all that he has given us. Furthermore, he wants us to take care of what he has bestowed upon us. "But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:27
I am a firm believer that God will use any opportunity to teach us. God has taught me the value of discipline, patience, perseverance , self reflection and self improvement not because he didn't like who I was, but because he loves me and he knows what I am capable of. It may sound unorthodox that a weight loss journey could be so profound in ones life, but God allowed it to transform me to become the person that he has called me to be. Not the person that I wanted to be. Also God gave me this opportunity to improve my physical body since I need it to serve him. With his help I was able to lose 59 pounds and counting. The weight loss of course is a tremendous part of his success for me, but what can't be seen with the human eye is the real testimony. I know that I will stumble upon another season of life where the Lord has to teach me a lesson because he's not done with me yet. God has a work to do within each and everyone one of us, and let us surrender our lives to him so that we can be used for his glory. "For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" 1Cornithians 6:20
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