More than happy

In the dictionary happiness is defined as “feeling, or showing pleasure.”   I find this extremely interesting, because I remember there was a point in my life where I didn't have that feeling.  It was about two years ago, after I had my daughter and I was battling postpartum depression.  I had this with my first two children but never this bad…and it was the worst time in my life. I felt sad all the time, I was crying uncontrollably I was even having terrible panic attacks, and I felt alone and I was afraid. I was even unsure If I could take care of 3 kids at one point.  People were telling me that I could control my feelings and at the time I genuinely could not. This was not a luxury to have; it actually felt like a punishment after having such a traumatic pregnancy that nearly cost my baby and I our lives.

But then one day something happened to me… I went to the hospital.  My doctor had given me some medicine that was supposed to help me and it only made me worse. I was having a horrible reaction.  I felt as though I was going crazy! Until something amazing happened to me.  I prayed.  For the first time, in a long time on that hospital bed. The doctor was coming in and was about to give me some sort of sedative to help calm me down. I looked at that doctor square in the eye and said “I’m not taking that” I looked at my husband and said “let’s go”.  I was petrified when I went home.  But I prayed all day, and all night. and I had so much faith that the Lord was going to see me though this.  I mean he saved my babies life and my life during my pregnancy.  I was certain he could help me through this.  I spent many nights crying alone on my bathroom floor because the road felt so long.  But,While praying I asked God for something that I have never asked him for before and that was his Joy. James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

I felt like at that point in time I was trying to find happiness, but I was looking for it in all the wrong places.  I began read my Bible so much; that I even tore out some of the pages and I carried them in my pockets to help lift me up.  I opened my Bible daily to Galatians 5:22-23 and it says ”22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” I prayed day and night for peace and for joy. God was so merciful and faithful that he granted me his joy.  This part of my life taught me that the enemy can try to take our joy away, even at the happiest times in our lives. In this part of my journey I developed my perseverance in the Lord.  I even more so, developed an unshakable faith in God.

Friends I am telling you this because I want you to know that sometimes we search for happiness in the wrong places. Material things will get us nowhere; these are only a temporary fix. Hobbies will only get us so far, and you certainly cannot place happiness on people, because a person will always let you down.  Put your faith in God and ask him today and every day for his joy, because he is the only one who can satisfy what our souls require.  Nehemiah 8:10 “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”