A Moment with Faith

Two years ago my husband and I found out that we were expecting! It was a really exciting time for us.  We were about to embark on bringing another life into this world and we couldn't of been more thrilled.  This was our third baby that we were expecting and we didn't really have a preference of what we wanted boy/ girl, it didn't matter as long as we had a healthy baby that’s all that we really cared about.

About 8 weeks into my pregnancy I began to feel like I was getting a little cold coming on….quite similar to flu like symptoms, but I ignored it took some extra vitamin C and went about taking my other two children to the play date.  We were at the park and I felt unusually tired (but this is par for the course of being pregnant, your always tired) anyhow, we got home and I laid down on the couch before we headed out again for another play date.  What was really odd is that when I laid down I went into an unusually deep sleep.  I was awakened by my daughter who was two at the time asking me for something to eat.  I sat up and felt a gush….I thought I had gone to the bathroom to be honest….I went into the bathroom and I saw what no women ever wants to see while pregnant. Blood. The blood was gushing everywhere; I couldn't get it to stop. I screamed it horror “NO!!!!!!” I was so terrified…what was happening to me? and most importantly my baby? I cried on that toilet seat asking God “WHY? “WHY? WHY ME?? DON”T LET THIS HAPPEN PLEASE!!!!…” and I called the doctor in a panic and told me to come in immediately.  My husband rushed home after he was told the news and we both rushed to the doctor.  Matthew 14:13 "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?

 I sat on that bed…still feeling blood gushing out and the doctor asked me what’s going on.  I was trying to get the words out while I was crying.  “The doctor said it’s going to be OK, it’s probably all over now” I looked at him and said “what do you mean?”  He replied “you probably had a miscarriage, and it’s over now will check you out to see if we have to remove any extra tissue left behind” I began to sob…I couldn't catch my breath. I prayed in my head and asked God to help because at that point he was the only one who could help.  The ultra sound tech came in and they began to search for any remaining tissue….I turned my head away from screen because I didn't want to look.  I didn't want to face that harsh reality I was about to embark on.  The doctor said to me “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I see the baby, I see the heartbeat, the baby has been unharmed” I broke down even more. But this time it was a cry of relief…I was so happy that my baby was ok. I was then told that I had to be on bed rest until further notice. 1 Corinthians 2:5 "so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

We arrived home and my grandmother was there and she and my husband were the ones who helped take care of the house and children while I couldn't.  God provided in the circumstance.  He had the right people step in at a time where I could not. My parents, my aunt and my best friends also helped in the process by cooking meals and watching my other children and cleaning the house.  God knew what was going to happen before it was even going happen.  He had the lineup prepared in my uncertain journey of a shaky pregnancy. 1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong" 

The bleeding was just scratching the surface of what was happening to me though.  I was diagnosed with a severe case of Placenta Previa. Some women have it and never even know, but I had a very bad case.  I had seizures to accompany the bleeding; I had to take hormonal pills to make sure I kept the baby which then made me vomit daily. It was a roller coaster. But I was willing to take that pain for 9 months if need be to make sure I had my baby at the end of this journey. I was on bed rest for 5 months of my pregnancy with weekly doctor’s visits to make sure I hadn't lost the baby at any point in time. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

 Many people who know what happened to me ask me, "how I managed to get through it with a good attitude?"  My answer is this. “I walked by faith not by sight” even though everything was looking like it was going to turn out for the worse I had faith in God.  I had faith that he would use this circumstance for the greater good. For his glory.  I knew that no matter what happened he had a greater plan and I trusted him.  My walk with him may not have been where it is now, but I always had faith in him. At that point in time I had no other choice but to trust in him.2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we live by faith not by sight"

I believe God uses circumstances like that for us to reflect on.  Even though I wasn't in the best of places with him at that time…he knew I would be where I am today.  With that said he allowed me to go through a hard situation to give him the glory today. At that time my best friend was my faith and I had many moments where all that I had was my faith. Isiah 43:7 "Everyone who is called by name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made" 

But here we are today, both happy and healthy and enjoying life.  Just remember God has a plan for you. Even though life becomes shaky and out of our control.  Just remember that as long as you keep your faith, and know that God has a bigger and better plan for you, you will never be shaken. Psalms 62:6 " Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress I will not be shaken"