A Moment with Faith

Two years ago my husband and I found out that we were expecting! It was a really exciting time for us.  We were about to embark on bringing another life into this world and we couldn't of been more thrilled.  This was our third baby that we were expecting and we didn't really have a preference of what we wanted boy/ girl, it didn't matter as long as we had a healthy baby that’s all that we really cared about.

About 8 weeks into my pregnancy I began to feel like I was getting a little cold coming on….quite similar to flu like symptoms, but I ignored it took some extra vitamin C and went about taking my other two children to the play date.  We were at the park and I felt unusually tired (but this is par for the course of being pregnant, your always tired) anyhow, we got home and I laid down on the couch before we headed out again for another play date.  What was really odd is that when I laid down I went into an unusually deep sleep.  I was awakened by my daughter who was two at the time asking me for something to eat.  I sat up and felt a gush….I thought I had gone to the bathroom to be honest….I went into the bathroom and I saw what no women ever wants to see while pregnant. Blood. The blood was gushing everywhere; I couldn't get it to stop. I screamed it horror “NO!!!!!!” I was so terrified…what was happening to me? and most importantly my baby? I cried on that toilet seat asking God “WHY? “WHY? WHY ME?? DON”T LET THIS HAPPEN PLEASE!!!!…” and I called the doctor in a panic and told me to come in immediately.  My husband rushed home after he was told the news and we both rushed to the doctor.  Matthew 14:13 "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?

 I sat on that bed…still feeling blood gushing out and the doctor asked me what’s going on.  I was trying to get the words out while I was crying.  “The doctor said it’s going to be OK, it’s probably all over now” I looked at him and said “what do you mean?”  He replied “you probably had a miscarriage, and it’s over now will check you out to see if we have to remove any extra tissue left behind” I began to sob…I couldn't catch my breath. I prayed in my head and asked God to help because at that point he was the only one who could help.  The ultra sound tech came in and they began to search for any remaining tissue….I turned my head away from screen because I didn't want to look.  I didn't want to face that harsh reality I was about to embark on.  The doctor said to me “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I see the baby, I see the heartbeat, the baby has been unharmed” I broke down even more. But this time it was a cry of relief…I was so happy that my baby was ok. I was then told that I had to be on bed rest until further notice. 1 Corinthians 2:5 "so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

We arrived home and my grandmother was there and she and my husband were the ones who helped take care of the house and children while I couldn't.  God provided in the circumstance.  He had the right people step in at a time where I could not. My parents, my aunt and my best friends also helped in the process by cooking meals and watching my other children and cleaning the house.  God knew what was going to happen before it was even going happen.  He had the lineup prepared in my uncertain journey of a shaky pregnancy. 1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong" 

The bleeding was just scratching the surface of what was happening to me though.  I was diagnosed with a severe case of Placenta Previa. Some women have it and never even know, but I had a very bad case.  I had seizures to accompany the bleeding; I had to take hormonal pills to make sure I kept the baby which then made me vomit daily. It was a roller coaster. But I was willing to take that pain for 9 months if need be to make sure I had my baby at the end of this journey. I was on bed rest for 5 months of my pregnancy with weekly doctor’s visits to make sure I hadn't lost the baby at any point in time. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

 Many people who know what happened to me ask me, "how I managed to get through it with a good attitude?"  My answer is this. “I walked by faith not by sight” even though everything was looking like it was going to turn out for the worse I had faith in God.  I had faith that he would use this circumstance for the greater good. For his glory.  I knew that no matter what happened he had a greater plan and I trusted him.  My walk with him may not have been where it is now, but I always had faith in him. At that point in time I had no other choice but to trust in him.2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we live by faith not by sight"

I believe God uses circumstances like that for us to reflect on.  Even though I wasn't in the best of places with him at that time…he knew I would be where I am today.  With that said he allowed me to go through a hard situation to give him the glory today. At that time my best friend was my faith and I had many moments where all that I had was my faith. Isiah 43:7 "Everyone who is called by name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made" 

But here we are today, both happy and healthy and enjoying life.  Just remember God has a plan for you. Even though life becomes shaky and out of our control.  Just remember that as long as you keep your faith, and know that God has a bigger and better plan for you, you will never be shaken. Psalms 62:6 " Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress I will not be shaken" 

The Gap

Have you ever felt in life that you are capable of so much more than what you are currently doing?  I know I have felt this way before and sometimes still do.  To be honest, when I first started staying at home with my kids about 4 years ago I felt as though I wasn't really doing much with my life.  At that time I had two kids I was at home with, a 2 year old and a 4 year old with one on the way.  I felt as though my life was sort of mundane, and that I should be doing so much more.  However; with now three kids in the mix and many life lessons behind me  I now understand why I am experiencing this gap.  I believe we all have these gaps in life. Actually, sometimes we may just feel that we are existing, maybe not doing a whole lot, maybe doing less than what we feel are capable of.  Here's the secret....this is preparation for what lies ahead of each and everyone us.  We are being prepared and groomed for the extraordinary for something phenomenal! we may not see or know exactly what is..... but God knows.

As I was working out today I thought about the story of David.  The story of David reminds me of the gaps that we have in life.  David was one of eight siblings and he was a shepherd for his father Jessie. I'll give you brief history on how he became King. David had to replace a king named Saul.  God gave a judge named Samuel a word and told him to go to a man named Jessie's house for the next king.  Samuel arrived and asked Jessie to bring all of his sons to him because, one of them is king.  Jessie did so, he brought out seven of his sons and Samuel said to God "surely one of them is king?"  God replied "not so, for man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart" 1 Samuel 16:7.  Samuel asked Jessie if he had any more sons?  Jessie replied yes, but he's a shepherd Samuel  told him to go and get the boy.  Jessie brought David in to meet Samuel and God said to Samuel "this is my next King"!  Historians actually believe that the way Samuel knew who was and was not king was because, in that day they anointed each King with a rams head full of oil.  In this story the oil did not pour onto the seven other brothers, however; when David walked in the oil flowed all over him.  (You can read the entire story of how David becomes ruler over Israel by reading 1 Samuel 16- 2 Samuel 10)

You see, we all have a particular anointing that God has in store for us. Even if seven people are ahead of us. if God prepared that anointing for you it will be there when he has it ready for you. The gap is actually a time or period in our lives where God uses it to build character within us.  He uses these gaps to prepare us for what's ahead.  I believe that God never gives us more than we can handle (although it may feel like he does) He is preparing us for greater things! however; with greater things always comes greater responsibility. Therefore; we must have greater character and competence to withstand this responsibility of where he is taking us. God has to prepare us with a gap before he takes us to our next destination. WHY? you ask?  because once we get to the destination he has prepared for us, it is then to late to get ready.

At the end of this story David has to fight a giant, he picked up five stones and was prepared for battle.  He threw the first stone and the giant was laid to rest.  You see, David was able to handle this because while out tending to his fathers sheep he took down a lion with his bare hands to protect the flock.  In other words while tending to his herd he was being conditioned for defeating a giant. Like us, the obstacles that we may have faced were not meant for our agitation they were meant for our education.  The  hurdles that we have encountered in the past have prepared us on how to handle the larger ones in the future.1 Samuel 17 (the story of David and Goliath)

Sometimes we may feel lost and down right hopeless in our life but just remember this.  The difficulty that we are facing now, or the gaps that we may be in are only preparation for greater things to come.  Keep your eyes on the prize, keep your eyes on God.  Don't focus on the stumbling block and give adversaries your soul attention.  However;  focus on how God is preparing you for your destiny and how is he conditioning you for a future that is better than you could even imagine. Trust in him.